I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Randomize
