used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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