my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
