so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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