it wasn't lemon gatorade
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
