I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
