It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
