I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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