Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
