sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
