Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
