You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
