i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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