It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
