I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
