careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
