do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just blew my weed a kiss
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
