I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
