How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
