D3 body, D1 cock
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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