i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
