Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
