We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
