Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
