oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
