yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
