I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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