Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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