I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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