He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
