also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
