People in love make me want to vomit
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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