if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
