Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
