yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
