i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
