he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You pole danced in your parka.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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