C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
