I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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