$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Help. Why am I so naked?
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