he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
