i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
