Don't you send me to vm
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i think im in europe. pls send help
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
