They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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