btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
