i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
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