is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
