She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
