is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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