Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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