He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
