I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
